Lebron Never Fails to Amaze

People who know me will tell you that I am a fairly adamant Lebron hater. And it’s really not rooted in the fact that he spurned the Knicks at all, because honestly I’m happy that perennial loser is not on my squad.  I’ll take JLin, STAT, MeloSWAG and Tyse anyday of the week. Add in JR Smith, the greatest player in NBA 2k9, 2k10 and 2k11, and you have a contender and are consistently having a day everyday.

The way he handled his free agency is part of it, but choosing to play in the city of Miami, whose population cares more about who’s DJing at Amnesia on a Friday night than who’s starting for the Heat is really what gets to me. But something Lebron is consistently showing us is that there is no way he could have handled the spotlight in NY. He hates the spotlight, that’s why he’s playing next to DWade — the Heat will never be “Lebron’s Team”. Just like the Yankees will never be A-Rod’s team.

As much as I dislike LBJ as a person, you will never catch me for one second hating on his basketball ability or his raw athleticism. Those are undeniable and the combination of which are something the NBA world has never seen. Jordan and Kobe had a better mid-range game, but Lebron’s size, vision, post-skills, and defense bla blah…you’ve heard it a million times.

Watching the All-Star game last night proved it once again. It amazes me how a dude with this much talent and the most outward swag, has the least amount of swag in the big moments. He loves passing them up. Literally.

The East is down 2, there’s 5 seconds left. He’s got the rock. He’s been unstoppable in the 4th quarter from EVERYWHERE — Banking in threes, dunking on people, swatting the ball into the 7th row hitting P.Diddy’s earrings off his face…Dude has already dropped 36 points. He’s defended by the only other player in the league right now that people will put in the same breath as him, some may say, I don’t know, a rival?

Instead of taking it by his unstoppable self, he decides to rip an over the shoulder, one-handed cross-court pass to his teammate/big brother/idol/object of his envy — Dwayne Wade. Blake Griffin picked the pass off, draws the intential foul…game over. Wasn’t even close to a good pass — my 11 year old cousin Jake would have picked that off in his JCC game out in Garden City.

Let’s put aside the fact that Lebron’s a huge bitch and passed the ball there. Let’s break this shit DOWN:

1) Look how open Melo is (I’m not gonna point out who he is because if you don’t know you shouldn’t be reading this article. SWAG:

Melo is not missing this shot. No way. If you think he’s missing that wide open 3 to win the All-Star game you’re fucking crazy. Melo is a G. He’s a gamer. He’s got a ring (Cuse stand up). This shot is all net. He will hit that shot with the same consistency I order a pastrami on rye with russian, side of must, and extra pickles when I go to Katz’s Deli: EVERY FUCKING TIME.

2.) Let’s move on to the next frame, which I feel is the most telling.

If we had enough readers I would love to post a caption contest for this one…one day we will..I’ll take a pass at it though.

Melo is something like: “ahhhh, bruhh are you serious?? Ma dude I was wide muhfuckin open.”

Kobe is something like: “Chiiiiiiiillddddddddd pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeee. You think I got 5 rings passing the rock to Luke Walton?!?!.”

Lebron is something like: “Uh..well, you see that spot on the floor right there, yea umm there was some sweat and shit and like you’re mad good at defense and like I’m tryin to hook my boy D-Wade up with the MVP, and ummm” — SHUT UP.

Stop making excuses. You should be pointing at himself and saying my bad, not pointing at his tears on the floor. Bottom line is, Kobe and Melo are two of the most gifted offensive players the NBA has seen in a while, so they understand Lebron’s potential and skill set more than any of us scrubs. The look on their faces says it all, they literally cannot comprehend what just happened. Just shoot it dude. No one’s gonna block it, so it obviously comes down to one thing: you’re afraid to miss and afraid to fail. Grow a pair and you’ll have as many rings as you want.

chuck up the deuces, peace up a-town down, call me maybe.



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